I offer my journal entries from another time, another life. Early 80’s, my sophomore year in High School… Beware the bad poetry.
I probably got a B on my Eng speech. It was 3:56! & I forgot to say the date. — Forget Robin. Forget Keith. Preferably the latter. but shit Robin won’t let me! (& I won’t let me either, I’m afraid) but Robin isn’t helping. We went to a wrestling match tonight and Robin sat by Keith, I sat behind Keith. Well, earlier today, I was talking to Matt and he knows Kendall and started laughing when he heard we are going out. Matt says Kendall’s weird. Wishes me luck. Well, back to tonight: I was telling Robin the above and later she asked me if I wanted Keith to hear it. I didn’t realize he could have been listening until after I had started. Really! Why would I. He certainly wouldn’t have gotten jealous. He didn’t hear anyway, at least I think. Or am I just trying to comfort myself on that. And Robin used to say we understood each other so well! Ha. Of course, it would be hard to understand me. I am so wishy-washy. Another Charlie Brown… I wish I could erase all my feelings and start over. Whoever said “Life isn’t easy” sure knew what the hell he (or she) was talking about. I should put a smile on my face and live with it. As Abe Lincoln said, “You are about as happy as you make up your mind to be.”
I’m not mad at Robin anymore. I never really was mad at her. I was mad at me and taking it out on her in my last entry. We had a talk at lunch. not much was settled except I decided I am wishy-washy. I wrote Robin a note telling her I valued her friendship and hoping she would be patient with me. I wish I knew a guy I could get close with. Tony is starting to be friendly. I found out John is going with Sherry. Darn.
This week is National Man Watchers Week! So keep eyes peeled for people of opposite sex!!! THAT won’t be hard. L. told H. to tell me not to call Brett because he was just joking when he said “call anytime.” She said he would think I was chasing him and he hates it when girls do that. “Well!!”
It’s me & you and you & me,
And I need your love so desperately.
It’s you & me and me & you,
Do you need me, too?
the tenderness we shared,
How do you dare,
Just shrug my love away?
You are the sugar in my tea,
But you can’t seem to see,
That I love you.
Please – don’t turn your back on me!
We are perfect together,
You thought it was just a one-night fling,
But this ‘thing’ can last forever,
If you just open the door,
And let me slip inside your heart,
Be a dartboard for Cupid’s dart.
Give it a chance,
Don’t stay away,
For I love you.