Job, Part 6

I had drafted a cover letter for a retail company that I truly love (I buy a LOT of clothes from this company) but I emailed it first to my husband for his red-pen skills.

He sent it back with new-to-me features of Word that I didn’t even know about (comment bubbles?) and TORE IT TO SHREDS.   He actually said, “You’re pretty rusty, aren’t you.”   (I used to be good at ‘getting jobs’ maybe notsomuch keeping them…)

No, dear.   I’m terrified.

(I feel so small right now.)

What sucks for me and is ‘my’ particular issue/problem/challenge and I know this makes me sound horrible but I resent that I once made quite a bit of money and now can’t get hired at even half what I used to make.   “I’m smarter than this.”     I resent it, I hate it and I’m frustrated.   I don’t know what is my calling, what I should DO.    What makes my heart SING that I can actually make money at?!    I’m much better at BEING than DOING.     Another truthism?   I hate money.    I hate “value for my worth” concepts.    I gnash my teeth at the whole idea of EARNINGs.   I just want to be me.   to be.

Jobs, Part FIVE of… oh, who cares how many.

I changed my search terms in my monster/careerbuilder/etc job search engines and

LO AND BEHOLD!  a few more interesting jobs have popped up within 15 miles of my house.   Granted, I hate to drive anywhere and in New England, 15 miles still means it will take me 35 minutes or more to get there.   (I know, I’m a big baby.)   Yep, proximity to home and how many vacation weeks I get will be tops on my wish list.

So, I’ve got some resumes to tailor and some praying to do.   Prayers of whether or not I really want to jump back into corporate America; prayers that if I do, that one of these jobs will be PERFECT for me, and prayers that all is right with the world.  

This means, I may not be blogging too much.    Well, unless I get the kind of job that allows me blogging access and time, on the job.  ha!

Happy healthy energetic thoughts going out into the universe for everyone!   Thank you, Curious “C”

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I wrote the above stuff on Tuesday or Wednesday.  I didn’t post it for a variety of reasons but the main one was ‘it didn’t feel right’.      Maybe the word ‘prayer’ is what felt/sensed insincere or sacrilege.  I dunno.

Having spent yesterday totally ignoring (in my front of mind) the whole job application – resume updating – etc. crap, and now just spending over 3 hours looking at the job descriptions and all my various resumes and attempting a cover letter, I have only one thought:

Job hunting sucks.

I can’t explain these strange hiatus-es and gaps in job history.  Nor the nutty jumps between the ODD things I’ve done.     Personally, it does show that I’m a varied and FUN person and how’s this?   I can jump into a situation and LEARN QUICKLY!   However, in a negative light, it shows that I get bored easily, too.

[Why yes, Crazy-HR-Person, I’ve been spending all my time blogging!!!  I mean, writing!!!]

and I’m at risk of moving 1000 miles away and leaving the job in a lurch.  yea, that, too.

I look at my resume and cry.   ugh.   How do I pull out just the right experiences I’ve had that apply to this position and make it look like I will am totally qualified when I spent 4 months doing it 15 years ago?     UGH. 

I guess there are few do-overs in life.   

This just sucks.   Thanks for listening.   I’m going to go move some more mulch now.   Such a great sense of satisfaction to look at a pile of 3 yards of mulch and with shovel and wheelbarrow move it all from point A to point B.   Ta da!  no more pile of mulch!   all pretty and tidy on my flower beds…

Photo Friday: Night

Click HERE

(the click HERE thingy above isn’t working and I don’t have a lot of time to fight with my PC this morning so, I invite and encourage you to visit Jan/Author, Host of Photo Friday, by clicking:  http://j9marshall.wordpress.com/2008/10/10/photo-friday-night/)

This is what my house looks like at night.   I was playing with the night setting on my camera but I’m not impressed.   All sorts of red images show through the viewfinder warning me, or inviting me to review other settings I’m sure, but alas, I can’t read the manual outside.  at night.  Enjoy, anyway!

  

And this next one is a photo of my dog.  At night.  In the dark.