July 16, 2008

  I’ve got an issue that is extremely minor and petty and yet I can’t let it go.   It bugs me.   The more I try to tell myself how petty and stupid and silly it is to fret over, the more I can’t stop wondering WHY I must beat myself up over it.   Then, I had the brilliant idea that I should blog about it and this act would release it and I will be able to forget all about it.   Gawd, I hope so.

Of course, the paranoia in me thinks the ‘culprit’ just might search the internet for this and find out!  I will be exposed!?    I actually started this post last night and deleted it – that’s how nuts I’ve become!   I had a cute title of ‘Orange Spoon’ and has my font all set up in the orange color…    But I imagined that the neighbor that I’m obsessing about will somehow read this.    But, seriously?   Will she?  Could she?   Is that really a risk?!?!     

[Comment Option A:    “Hey C – you are behaving irrationally”]

The setup – or is it the main issue?    I took a yummy salad of cauliflower/pea salad to my next door neighbor’s potluck neighborhood party the last Saturday in June.   Along with the bowl, I took my favorite orange spoon that I bought at TJ Maxx.   It matches the paint color in my kitchen and is the perfect serving size with a shorter handle.   (What IS it with these looooooong handled spoons?   They are unwieldy to me.)

[Comment Option B:   You are seriously strange that you match your utensils with your paint color.]

Of course, before the party was even over, the bowl was washed and ready for taking home and I grabbed it and left.   I forgot ALL about the spoon which was no where in sight or I’m sure I would have retrieved it and none of this silliness would ever have happened…

I realized it a few days later but it was either really late at night or 6 am and I just don’t call other people during too late or too early hours.     Then it was 4th of July week and we left for a 5+ day vacay for that holiday and came home in time to clean house and expect guests 1 days later for another vacation celebration…    I forgot to call about my orange spoon.


For my company, I made a BYOOOOOTIFUL melon ball salad!    A lot of the balls were even full balls – hard to do, really.   AND I had fresh mint from my garden to sprinkle on the watermelon, cantaloupe and honeydew to make it just like the fancy cookbooks recommend.   I had a cool bowl to serve it in and I thought ‘Hey that orange spoon would really set this off!’  

Alas, no orange spoon.    So I called next door.    This is what she told me:

“I waited a week and a half and no one called about that spoon so I took it to church  since most of the people who came to the party were from my church and I left it there thinking it was one of them.    And you’ll just have to wait until I can get to church which will be Sunday (it was Thursday, I think) and hopefully I can find it.”

all snippy.     Well, I am SOOOOOOOO sorry I inconvenienced her.    Poor thing – had to wait a week and half and still no one claimed that stupid spoon.     I’m sure the mental stress of it was too much.

SO why is this bothering me!?    I wish I could laugh it off but it pisses me off to find out she is pissed off at me!?

[Comment Option C:    Get over it already.  What is wrong with you?!  There are space rocks hurtling through space to blow up the world (not to mention evil terrorists) and people won’t be able to heat their homes this winter due to oil shenanigans and you are thinking about this crap?]

My hub took my neighbor’s side, ‘So why didn’t you call her earlier?”  Ok, cuz I don’t like to talk to her, I think.   and, whenever I remembered about the damn spoon, it was either 10 pm or 5:30 am!

I can’t figure out why this lady bugs me.    I think it’s because I don’t like how I feel when I talk to her.   Could it be also that even think her 6 year old looks at me with contempt?   She isn’t one of those people that makes you feel GOOD when you talk to her, that’s for darned sure.   I could recite all sorts of injustices and wrongness about her but what’s the point of that.    No one likes her and I feel bad talking about her.  (yea right)   

But I miss my spoon.    I’m scared to ask her if she found it assuming she didn’t since Sunday was 3 days ago.

[Comment Option D:    SHHEEESSSSSH!   You’re weird.  But here’s hoping that you can release this and get on with your so-called life.]

I would link to this site but it kind of freaks me out (uh oh.  more issues) so if you want a zen like trance for a minute or two, open a new window and type these words with no spaces with the dot com after: 


See?!?!    cool, huh?


OH – and PLEASE do not comment in Russian.   I can’t read the Russian Language.  I will NOT be following your link back to your blog.  Again, because I don’t speak Russian.   I think it’s in Russian, all the comment spam I’ve gotten in the last 24 hours.   I’m now moderating comments unless you’ve already commented prior…   thank you.



  1. Call her and ask if she got it! She knew that you were at the party too, so she should have asked you about it and not play the odds that it was from someone at church.
    But now you know not to take utensils to her house again.

    HA! I now know not to EVER go to any of her parties again!!!

  2. It wasn’t too much trouble for her to bring the utensil TO church so it shouldn’t be too much trouble for her to get it back. Sheesh. I know people like that who make you feel like you are scum just by the way they talk to you. I think they are just miserable people and unfortunately, they know how to spread it around. Yikes. Easier for me to say than do, but that is HER problem, not yours, that she is such a biotch, so try and remember that her opinion really doesn’t matter. It’s easiest to be civil with neighbors because of the close proximity, but unfortunately they aren’t always friends. She sounds toxic to me and I wouldn’t have too much to do with her if I were you.

    Toxic? Hmmm, she can be, yes.

  3. I agree with what teeni said. I don’t think you are overreacting, but your suggestions for comments to make are hilarious! That website is really random. *shrug*

    I’m glad you checked the website! I was kind of freaked out by it. “What does it MEAN!?” hee hee.

  4. What a DUMBASS!!! Not you, of course–HER!!! She probably liked it and kept it. Even if she brought it to her church she could have at least been kind and said ” Oh, I’ll do my best to get it back to you. I’m so sorry.”

    It sounds like you make really good food when people invite you to parties or you have them. I hope she at least thanked you for making the salad.

    Don’t worry I don’t know any Russian.

    Are you getting tons of Russian comments, too!?!??!?! I wonder what they say, but not enough to figure out the translation.

    I’d call her and tell her to get off her dumbass and go to church and while she’s praying to become a better person she should be looking for your spoon.

    LOL! She is one of those members of the “Church of the Judgmentals”. I don’t think they pray to be better people, only to make it more easier to differentiate how much better they are then everyone else.

  5. she’s a tool! I dont blame you for being upset! If i ever lost my favorite wooden spoon i would be a wreck! I say call her again and ask…you were good enough to bring a dish to her pot luck!! she should of asked you as you were at the party before bringing it to church! i would feel so bad that i brought it to church i would offer to buy a new one! good luck!!

    Remind me to promptly return that wooden spoon if I ever borrow it. OK, I’ll just let you keep it. Please don’t bring to any of my parties. You’re always welcome at any party – just bring beer.

  6. Посмотрите он-лайн для другой померанцовой ложки. Заказ 2 их. Побейте вашего соседа с первое одним, и сдержите второе как запасная часть.

    Okay, sorry. Couldn’t help it. Here’s the translation:

    “Look online for another orange spoon. Order two of them. Beat the crap out of your neighbor with the first one, and keep the second as a spare.”

  7. MOONBEAM!!!!! Brilliant, you are! which I’ve always known, of course. Well, for as long as I’ve ‘known’ you, I mean.

  8. Love, love, love Moonbeam’s comment. Just had to say that. 🙂

    I know! She’s the best. I have a blogcrush on her. and I’m so glad she’s back in my blogosphere.

  9. I don’t think you are weird at all. We are all a little nutty over something. Me, I’m nutty over several hundred(s) (of thousands) of things. 😉

    I wish I had the answer to why some people can be so self-centered? Why does she have to make life difficult over a spoon that means something to someone else.

    I’d order myself up a new spoon too, but then I’d go to the store and buy hundreds of little plastic orange spoons and “spoon her yard” – I’d stick them in the grass and when she comes out to get her paper, she’d also get a little message. Don’t fuck with people’s ORANGE spoons lady!

    OMG! Did you spoon and fork peoples yards in HS!? No one has ever heard of this besides me and my home town!!!! Great idea by the way, fun to consider, but she lives RIGHT NEXT DOOR and I really don’t hate her, it’s just those little attempts to encourage a friendly …. a friendly… I can’t think of the word! Well, just a friendly neighborliness – I’m not looking to be her bff but some smiles and waves and a little ‘hey there’ would be nice. Let’s just say that the week they were on vacation was just so pleasant.

  10. Teeni and C, you guys are SO sweet! I’m so glad to be lurking around your blogs again. And I’m not brilliant– I just used the babel fish translator, and set it to Russian! 😛

    Great. I really thought you were brilliant. You cheated. and have now attracted even more Russian flirting from the Cirillic spammers of the world! But I’m excited to find this babel fish thing! I love to translate words. Thank you. 🙂

  11. HA! You were brilliant enough to even think of using that babel fish thing! I always forget about it. So you can be as modest as you want, but I’m still worshipping at your feet. 🙂

  12. Hey C,
    I totally understand this – it’s something important to you and she was an ass to you. I mean if someone had left something behind at my potluck, I”d have been on the phone to find out who it belonged to. And yeah, I know those kind of people who make you feel bad when you talk to them. Like they are looking for your weak spot or something. Next time, take a disposable spoon to her place or no spoon at all. And where is the recipe for the salad anyway? 😉

    I get self-conscious exposing my idiocy to the blogworld but it does help to get it out. Stupid thoughts are poison. and seeing all these nice comments validating my neurotics seems to lessen it AND embarrass me. NO – I don’t have the damn spoon back. yet.

    If you want the recipe to Crunchy Pea Salad, I will email it… Cheerio!

  13. […]     This is the pile of dirt from posts prior now covered in mulch (the dirt, not the blogpost…) and with a brand new arbor stuck in the middle.   On the southeast side of the caddywompus arbor, is an evergreen BRIGHTDEEPPURPLE wisteria!!!!   I’m hoping, praying that this will have enough sun to give me tons of blossoms.   And on the other side is eoponymus.   (I’m spelling that from memory but the dude at Lowe’s told me it’s ‘the cat’s meow’.  Whatever that means.)   This shot also gives you a nice glimpse of the neighbor’s house that we want to pretend isn’t there (when we play naked in the hotTub.)   The same neighbor who I had the conflict with over that orange spoon. […]

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