Friend Who Re-Appeared

December 12, 2007

This is Part 3 of the Friend Who Disappeared;  I want to stay upbeat.   For Part 2, go here.



Last week, I was able to visit with the friend that I was worried had chosen to take a break from communicating with me.    Such was not the case, or, maybe it was and she decided time was right for a re-contact.

Lunch.   We met for lunch at a nice Italian restaurant somewhere in the ‘burbs of DC that lies on the 66 cooridor in Virginia.  I spent from 6 am that day riding in a car, then a plane, then a bus, then a train.  [oops, I was supposed to be on orange, why am I on blue?!]   Snow, and slush, and mist, and cold.  

She bought, she insisted.  We enjoyed the full course:   appetizer – calamari, salad, entry – I had eggplant parmesan, and dessert – Tiramisu! with coffee.   It was quite tasty and we had a blast talking!   She is that friend that time doesn’t exist; no awkward conversation ever, just catching up and ALL GOOD.

She even had a gift for me.   A composite of travels through Target, Giant, etc – the only places she frequents with children in tow.    This packaged collection of goodies was over a year in the making!    She did not realize, nor did I scold her!  that it was February when we last talked.  

Or I received an email, a letter, any contact whatsoever.

And, now, ALL IS FORGIVEN.   We two really do have the most vastly different of life descriptions!     She with 4 kids and a full-time high-falutin’ job.   and me, …well, none of that.

This feels like a boring post, but I wanted to say it.   I get so many searches to this blog about ‘friends who disappear’ that I suspect that someone is using this tag to re-find me!    Having wondered about ‘that blog’ that had a post about friendship…  

where IS it?   oh!  I don’t remember!    something about jumping and ideas?   Some chick that is curious and calls herself “C”?    but, definitely that post about disappearing friends…  If I search on that, I’ll find that blog again…

Sounds like something I do…

So let’s wax poetic.   Which sounds really strange to me, but it’s a saying somewhere.   Moonbeam will probably have to look it up for me – it’s probably in wikipedia?!   🙂 

Why do we yearn for those friendships that have gone stale?   or abruptly ended?    or simply wandered off with no one noticing…    What about US?    Rather than wonder why someone isn’t calling me back, how much do I hound them about it, and generally whine and cry…    I must ask, is there anyone crying about ME not calling back?

Have I been the untrue friend?    Is there someone that I have treated shabbily?   Is it just the cycle of life that friends come and go?    I have read other blogs that have touched on this topic and it all reflects so much pain.

I can only wish and strive to be a better friend now, to the friends that are in my path, right now.   And to consider anyone that I may need to reach for.     And to not let it stress me, when someone doesn’t return a call in a day or a month or a year.   Let ’em go and maybe they’ll come back…



  1. I am so glad you reconnected with your friend. I think friendship is hard. It is something you have to work at. Growing pains. I long for those lost friendships too. I hope no one is waiting for me to call. I hope they call me. I need it right now.

    —-> {{HUG}} for you Hallie! -“C”

  2. This was a very nice and heartfelt post C. Thank you. Allow me to wax poetic …

    We are all “in search” of true friendship.(Google on brothers and sisters!) You ask the essential question here: “…is there anyone crying about ME not calling back?” and then you answer it here: “Let ‘em go and maybe they’ll come back…

    The give and take of love and friendship is like a rainbow I think. Many colors, angry red, joyous orange, warm yellow, envious green, sad blue, loyal purple … As we miss others, so we will be missed. We often needily cling to our friends for want of something that can’t really be given when asked for, but is only to be given spontaneously. itsallabouthallie is so right, it is work, but there is no work on this earth that pays so well!

    —-> David, the rainbow concept is beautiful. Thx, “C”

  3. I remember that earlier post, and I’m so glad you connected with your friend!

    C, this brought up a lot for me. I’m the friend who’s more like your friend, and I always feel guilty about it. I may post on this later. But I think what I’ve learned is that there are people out there who love me matter what, and they’re not out there critiquing my friendship style. For some reason, they just seem to be loving people who genuinely care no matter what I’m doing on my end. I have friends who’ve been there for over twenty years, and when we get together, it’s like time’s been standing still. These are the friends I treasure most.

    Oh crap. You’ve made me all teary here. By the way:


    I’m sending you hugs for this post.

  4. —>Moonbeam, I KNEW you would find it! Hope it wasn’t too much of an obvious but not obvious (passive aggressive?!) push that I called you out and yet didn’t link to you, huh?

    and… what you found: “One sense of wax (as an intransitive verb) is to pass into a mood or state.”

    … seems extremely accurate for what I was going for! Gotta love it when a stab in the dark finds it’s target.

    But I abhor violence.

    Yes, this friendship thing is very interesting. I hate being paranoid and do not want to be a hanger-on or pushy. I ‘think’ too much. uh huh.

    But I want to be one of those loving peoples… and, that is really all I can strive to be.

    NO more wax tonight…

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