I was bouncing around Facebook for some odd reason, chasing names from my past as if they might be real enough to click back into my life, my real live life now and then I wonder a few things.

Why now?

Why do I care?

What happened?

Stumbled upon photos from a wedding of an old friend, former friend maybe, surely haven’t talked to nor corresponded with this person in years and yet it stung.   Stung that I didn’t know about it.   Wasn’t invited?!    Deep breath, conscious wow/huh thought.

I’ve had more than a few friendships get pissed off into the ether for many unknown* and certainly unexplored reasons.     In typical self-centered reaction, I wonder what I did.   Which only leads to negative ‘why don’t they like me anymore?’ questions.

When perhaps, they are asking the same thing?  Maybe they are wondering why I don’t seem to like them anymore?

Consider all this and allow me to share my afternoon.   I didn’t want to sit around the house watching football.   I wanted to go out but Hub preferred staying in.     I could have called a few girlfriends, right?    In fact, I did dial a friend’s number to have it immediately go to voicemail so I hung up.    I looked across at a neighbors to see if her car was visible.  Nope.

So I jumped in the car and went to Home Goods alone.

Yet, it gnawed at me that at the same time I was contemplating why I don’t have people calling me to do things with, inviting me places, lunches to plan – that I don’t make those invitations myself.

Gawd, I hate self-pity even as I crave it.  Why does my brain even think of this crap?   Why am I not continually thinking about contributing my talents to the world?  or about all I have to be grateful for?   I have many things to be grateful for.    And I would even be able to count the many wonderful supportive friends I have.

I just wish I had some go-to gals to call and say “Hey, let’s go shopping.  NOW.”  or wishing someone would call me with same.   Where are they?

And it is likely that they once did and I said no?    yes, it is.

I sigh in frustration and annoyance.

I must think about something else, please.

Wonder what I got?   I bought a cool red porcelain heavy stockpot, a spatula, a few blank books, and some martini swizzle sticks.   Home Goods is just a candy store for me…

* Though I did have one friend tell me that her biorhythms and mine were in conflict and that’s why we couldn’t be friends any more.     Was she being nice?      Hurt like hell and still does.

I decided this would be a great place and a good time for me to vent.   But I quickly thought I should balance this with some opposite-rant;  thus the title to this post.    I will list a few pet peeves and then counter with a few things that make me smile.      Let’s see which attitude-influencers WIN!   woo hoo!!

ANNOYING #1:    I get annoyed that people send emails with too few details.   Specifically, the requests I get to invite me to bring my dog to a pet-therapy opportunity.    Seldom do they mention what TOWN they are in!     I’ll get a quick email that announces orientation at Ayer Public Library and…   THAT’s IT!    No, grand thank you for signing up months ago to do this, just ‘hey – here are the dates’.      UM.     huh?  who ARE you?  WHERE are you?   What exactly did I sign up for made you send me this email today?!    SO, now I have to go dig up more details and I really wish I could send an email back, HEY!   WHO ARE YOU!!?!??!

INSPIRATION:     I really have to take a deep breath and just let the faint vague details come to me:    This is an opportunity for me to bring my dog to a program assisting young children learning to read.    Apparently, a child is more comfortable reading aloud to a DOG audience of one and reading scores improve with regular sessions.     I really think Oscar is an excellent calm listener and am eager to do good and help improve a young reader’s ability and foster a love for reading.     Sounds AWESOME, doesn’t it?   At least, I think this email is about that program I signed up for months ago and haven’t heard anything about since…

♦

ANNOY #2:    Husband’s piss-poor attitude this morning.   RRRRrrrrrrrr.     It’s not MY fault you went fishing yesterday and the exhaustion of your FUN day has caused you to be extremely irritable this morning.      He is anything but pleasant this morning.

INSPIRATION:    I must be thankful that my husband has opportunities to pursue his fishing passion and that he left me alone all day yesterday.    I read over half the book I’m currently enjoying AND I got to watch Project Runway without bothering him.     And I’m really glad that he didn’t decide to work from home today.

♦

ANNOY #3:     I get annoyed and SADDENED when people too hastily assume that all creativity and the term ARTIST only means talent for drawing!   COME ON ALREADY!!    what ARE the schools teaching these days!?    Everyone on the planet who has thoughts in their heads are creative.    CREATIVE does NOT mean skilled at pen and paper drawing!     UGH – I can’t express it enough how thoroughly irritated I get that people do not understand the word CREATIVITY!

Here’s what happened yesterday:     I got my hair cut.    I hate getting my hair cut.    I don’t feel pampered, I feel afraid.     I realize this is something I need to tweak my attitude about but it’s still a struggle to set through a session and not wish is was over about 10 minutes after the snipping begins.     ANYWAY, the stylist was complimenting her work and I sincerely said,

“I take it as a good sign that the artist is admiring her work.”

And she replied,  “Oh, I’m not an artist.   I can’t draw at all.   My little sister is only eleven but she’s really good at drawing things.”

sigh…

INSPIRATION:    I love flowers.     I can see my zinnias outside my window as I glance up from the keyboard trying to find a countering inspiration to my wish that all people would consider and appreciate their own creativity…     Flowers.    Flowers, flowers, flowers…

I’m very excited to announce that the school district found me some money.   Well, it’s MY money and I earned every penny of the $168.44 which represents 2 and 2/3 days (huh?) of substitute teaching.

If you regularly stumble over here and read my few posts, you’ll recall that I had gone into the school district office back in July to pick up my last check (they won’t mail them and subs don’t get direct deposit) and was told,

“You already picked it up.”

“No, I didn’t.   I don’t remember coming in here recently.  I don’t think so.”

But, of course, the seed of doubt was planted.   I searched through files and papers and piles of detritus (cool word, huh?) but couldn’t find the paystub.   I speculated that I had just cashed it and so would thus have no deposit record on my bank statement.    I was all prepared to write a nasty CC:-the-Superintendent about how RUDE the payroll clerk is and blahblahblah but just didn’t have the guts.      I mean, maybe she was right and my kindergarten-teacher-friend who told me the payroll clerk is mean and everybody hates her would actually help me figure out what happened.   I mean, maybe somebody posed as me!

Anyway.

I went to Substitute Teacher Orientation today and guess what!   My boss – who had to announce my name to claim the check because of course she doesn’t really know who I am (nor does the rude payroll clerk, ahem) – hands me my money!!  WAHOO!

I’m still not sure about the 2/3 day but that’s OK.   It’s money and I’m happy the whole damn situation is done.   I really only thought I had a day and half owed.   All good.

I also know now that I should send kids to the nurse if they want to and to not touch any kids with bloody noses.     It was BLOODBORNE ILLNESS PREVENTION training…

Golly, it’s been awhile since I set up camp over here and regaled the three of you who might actually be reading this and I think, “Self, what tis this absence thing or dichotomous lapse?”

See, I don’t even make much sense.

Anyway, I realize in the past I have enthusiastically announced all sorts of inspired “regular” (as in ongoing) post ideas* and then abandoned same.   Um, like here and here and here.    or here.   And yet, with that same enthusiasm that I’m so famous for (I can count on the three of you to back me up with this, yes?) I once more announce to trumpets and much fanfare of streamers and confetti, that I have a post idea to keep up with on some sort of regular basis.   Hopefully.

BOOK RECOMMENDATION 09001

(for the year 2009 and this being the first over here on my non-book blog so 001)

Population 485 by Michael Perry

So unexpected.    So worthy of being read.    So much more than just living and working in a small town…   very humbly thoughtful, intelligent, occasionally goofy in a charming way, honest and heart-warming.    and heart-breaking.   GOOD STUFF.

It’s a memoir by a guy who makes his living as a writer but stays grounded by working as a volunteer firefighter and Emergency Medical Responder in a very small town in Wisconsin.

“He crafts a lovely metaphor.”   (you’ll ‘get it’ if you read it.)

If you like memoirs about regular people who do inspiring things (fight fires!)  -or-   if you like reading about medicine without it being too over the head or maybe boring with terminology and just the right amount of gore and drama  -or-   if you aspire to crafting a life while you craft a career,

you might like this book.

If you like to ‘wax poetically’ – it has just a bit of philosophy, some wisdom, some nuttiness of home town living.    If you like witty or whacky supporting characters, this book has some of that.      If you long for connectedness to a time and to a place and a realization how often we forget and need the reminder of our own humanity – I think you’ll love this book.

Michael Perry has a few other books, too.   Check out his website for more!

*  Other almost serialized post ideas:  movie reviews, quotes, jobs, mosaics, pies…

So.   I was just coming back from picking up the pup from doggie-daycare when I had to stop and wait for a car to pass.    While I was waiting for it to move out of my way, I noticed its license plate was from the fine state of Nebraska.

Well, we don’t see too many Nebraska cars up here in Massachusetts, so I was quite curious.   Luckily? — or was it just coincidence?   fate, even? — the car pulled into the strip mall which had a store I was planning at stopping at.   So, I did what any midwesterner- transplant to New England would likely do:    I asked the guy driving the Nebraska car, “Where in Nebraska are you from?”

He said, with a European accent, “I’m not from Nebraska.   It’s just a rental car.”

“Oh,”  I said.

“We’re from the Netherlands.”  he explained,  before I could explain why this nutty American (me) was so curious why he might be from Nebraska (my husband is from Nebraska).

“Oh.  Well, welcome to Massachusetts! ” I said cheerily, and then paused a bit before asking, “Are you lost?”

The Netherlandian responded with a smile and a nod, “uh, is this downtown?”

“For Lakeville, Mass, yes, this is probably what they would call downtown.   Are you looking for Middleboro?   It has a more traditional town center.”

“We are looking for a hotel.”

“Ah, THAT I can direct you to.”    And so I pointed the way to the closest option for lodging, wished them good luck and waved goodbye.

Later, after purchasing bacon to wrap striper in for cooking on the grill and ice cream for dessert (peppermint stick and “The Big Dig”, vanilla ice cream with fudge brownie chunks, caramel sauce and chocolate chunks by Brigham’s, New England’s Premium Ice Cream), I thought about how ODD my encounter was with the car that was from Nebraska but was driven by a guy from the Netherlands.    I was regretting that I didn’t give them a map – I have plenty in my car.    And I was considering that I should have at least invited them to dinner!    or gone even further, invited them to spend the night at our house.   But alas, that opportunity for a truly good deed was done passed.

And then, I had to think, was it a mere coincidence that they were indeed lost and I was the one who happened to be there for them?

Hmmmmmm.    The universe is just one big crazy place, isn’t it.

Have you done any good deeds lately?     Suffered any odd coincidences?    Do tell!

“God is great, beer is good.   And people are crazy.” I love this song by Billy Currington.   It makes me laugh and it makes me cry;  just like a good country song should.

WATER!

Author’s choice – Water, rain, puddles, lakes, rivers, waterfalls, tears ~ you choose!

Rain

Clouds are vapor, right?

Splash!!!  at the lake in Maine

Me, a beautiful day on the ocean -Narragansett Bay

A different day in Narragansett Bay, with Oscar

A friend’s amazing, soothing backyard pool.

Ranting is good.

And, I truly do believe that if you have poison in your attitude, it’s best to yell it out of yourself.

Just to update the 2 or 3 of you who just might care, check this out:

The sign guy figgered it out!    May blessings be heaped upon all who see and witness.