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Dear Potential New-to-Me Doctor,

May 15, 2009

Dear Potential New-to-Me Doctor,

I found you in the list of doctors that accept my insurance.   I liked your name and the fact that you are close to my age and have been an official doctor for almost 20 years.     What else do I have to go on?!     They should make you list favorite color, astrological sign and if you prefer pie or cake.

I am writing to you because I have made an appointment and wanted to save the who/what/where/blahblahblahs so we may have a productive meeting.   I have no physical complaints to present to you and I hope not to have any in the near future.

Also, I’m curious if you will respond.   Knowing you are busy and my letter to you a bit unorthodox in the ‘Choosing-A-Doctor’ process, I wonder if you will write me back.   I’m enclosing a SASE to make it a bit easier.

I’m giving you the opportunity to NOT ACCEPT me as a new patient if you decide I’m not someone you want to know.

Let’s start, shall we?     I have no kids – never quite got around to it and have since decided that our family of wife plus husband plus adorable dog is just fine.     I work out occasionally, would love to lose 5-10 pounds but don’t really care, I try to eat right, I admit to smoking cigarettes on occasion but can easily go weeks or months without one, and I partake more beer and wine than is recommended.    I’ve just started yoga and I’m liking it way more than I expected to.    Over all, life is really great and I have no complaints.     Other than my hypothyroidic condition and nasty cold sores on my upper lip every so often, I’ve got nothing wrong with me that I know about.

I love to read – do you?    What’s your favorite book?    I am recommending The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein, especially if you love dogs.    Do you like dogs?     It was just a wonderful read.     I’ve set a goal to read 100 books this year and not sure I’ll make it but I’m reading quite a variety – it’s fun.      I work as a substitute teacher because I love the flexibility and because it gives me something to say when people ask me what I do.     I also volunteer at the nursing home and do free tutoring through the library for math, language and computers.

So, is this enough?   Would you like me as a patient?   If not, please save us both the time and effort and send this back with a big red line thru it.     Or fill out my little survey.     Click the appropriate circle:

O   –    Yes, would love to have you as a new patient.    I will remind myself to read this again as your appointment nears.

O   –     No, you sound really weird.     Find somebody else.

O  –      I’m passing this around the office and we’re all getting a good laugh.

O  –     Do you have no idea how busy I am?!   I’m an extremely important health professional and I do not have the time to be writing patients or filling out silly forms.   I’ll just hand this to some poor sap in the office and see if they will fill it out.

Thank you for your being open to my process of finding a good doctor.  I would love to know more about you and your philosophies of patient care and personal health and well-being.      Do you think you would be a good doctor for me?

Sincerely,

CuriousC

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6 comments

  1. Answer: Do you have no idea how busy I am?! I’m an extremely important health professional and I do not have the time to be writing patients or filling out silly forms. I’ll just hand this to some poor sap in the office and see if they will fill it out.

    Signed: Your new doctor.

    LOL! Signed Jan


  2. This is hilarious!


  3. Hey C,
    I’m sure he/she will be delighted to have you as a patient. Most good doctors want patients because they love to help people. Fingers crossed that it’s a good match.
    Annie


  4. If your chosen MD doesn’t completely adore you and want you after THAT, then I’ll just have to go to Med. school myself so I can have you as a patient. Can you wait seven years?


  5. ROFL! This is awesome. They should so definitely have these as a way for doctors to accept or deny patients, so that nobody is left hanging. You are too funny but I do know what you are talking about here and it sure would be nice if insurance companies recognized the “consultation” process as part of a patient’s rights to managing their health care. I love how you ask at the end if you think they would be a good doctor for you! :) I seriously hope you get a good one. Hugs to you!


  6. This is one of the most original, clever posts I’ve ever seen–it’s one reason I spend most of my Internet-time reading blogs!



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