Friend Who Disappeared Part IIOctober 7, 2007
for Part 1, click HERE ….
Pondering the definition of FRIENDSHIP is an evaluation of the current friendships in my life. AND… they are all different! Almost like the shades and varieties of LOVE.
A comment on my Part I of this series asks me the question about why a decision is even needed? and I am agreeing with the common sense and calm approach to the evaluation.
My friend is my friend because I value her, I value our relationship, and I honor her best by not trying to second guess what she might be feeling! Is it really important? The best relationships just ARE. Yes, they take work sometimes and mutual compromise but if the value has been placed on it, then it also must be allowed some flexibility.
SO, I will send this fun sunflower card in the flourescent lime green envelope (maybe not now, maybe later). All I intend to do is sign it and send. Let Hallmark deliver the sentiment. And I will continue to do the crazy letters I send to her oldest child. (I’ve been sending weekly letters, each week’s theme is the next letter of the alphabet. Tomorrow, I will write the ‘H’ letter. Oh, didn’t know I had a wierd love thing for the alphabet? Yes, I do.)
If my friend is feeling guilty about my so often correspondence and her lack of response, it really isn’t my problem, it’s hers. Can my friend imagine that I am NOT trying to berate her for this lack but am doing this out of love and care and my wish to be involved in some way with the lives of her family? Yes, I hope so. Again, I can only control MY thoughts not hers.
I choose to consider that she values my friendship and takes comfort that I am here for her long term. That I value where she is in her life now. That I want in any way to be involved with her kids. That I truly want to see them grow up strong and then years from now attend her kids weddings and be there to rock grandbabies! To take cruises together with the hubbies or just take a girls vacation and sit on the beach. We might be the same age but our life paths right now are vastly far apart. And that’s OK.
I do have other friends. None from High School but those days of my life at not looked back on with any misty-eyed nostalgia. I keep up with a few friends from college. I seem to have many friends who I’ve met through the husband. (Why IS that? that’s another topic for another day!) I have a terrific friend here who I met when she was hired by our builder to advise me on lighting fixtures. I have some very varied friends here in my nieghborhood. and through work, and from the many places we’ve lived. They ALL get Christmas cards.
And now, I’m making friends on this blogging thing. Thank you to all who commented. I loved the variety of responses and the wise perspectives. This is why I do this…. to realize that I get wrapped up in my head and just need to look at things from a different angle.
She hasn’t really disappeared. (The letters aren’t being returned!) So I DO know where she is…